Tools of the State at Work for You (or Why Ron Paul Would Make a Lousy President)

Despite our president's best efforts to force all local schools to adopt arbitrary national standards, children are being left behind. And even with the increase in the use of Tasers against unarmed citizens, criminals are taking over our neighborhoods. At times, all seems hopeless.

Then, something extraordinary happens that restores your faith in both education and law enforcement. You may recall this story from a month ago:

A 10-year-old Ocala girl brought her lunch to school and a small kitchen knife to cut it. She now faces a felony charge after being arrested. The school and the sheriff's office disagree on the reason for the arrest.

School officials say the 5th grader was brown-bagging it. She brought a piece of steak for her lunch, but she also brought a steak knife. That's when deputies were called.

It happened in the cafeteria at Sunrise Elementary School. The 10-year-old used the knife to cut the meat.

"She did not use it inappropriately. She did not threaten anyone with it. She didn't pull it out and brandish it. Nothing of that nature," explained Marion County School Spokesman Kevin Christian.

But a couple of teachers took the utensil and called the sheriff. When deputies arrived, they were unable to get the child's parents on the phone, so they arrested her and took her to the county's juvenile assessment center.

"And we didn't handcuff her or treat her like a criminal. But we took her to the assessment center to be assessed," said Capt. James Pogue, Marion County Sheriff's Office.

What compassion! That's the nice thing about living in the Land of the Free.

I have to admire the courageous officers involved. How in the world were they able to apprehend an unarmed 10-year-old girl without tasing, handcuffing, clubbing, choking, and/or shooting her? They should all receive commendations for bravery.

The suspect, on the other hand, should be counting her blessings. According to a follow-up report, she's getting off rather easy:

After reviewing her school record and interviewing her, investigators with the Department of Juvenile Justice recommended that the State Attorney’s Office not prosecute the child. The attorney’s office agreed.

"She has an excellent school history, no disciplinary problems, good grades and nothing whatsoever to suggest she was a troubled child," Assistant State Attorney Ric Ridgway told the Orlando Sentinel.

The state, after all, isn't above showing mercy. Even hardened criminals like this elementary school student get a second chance.

But the main lesson to be learned here is that we are extremely blessed in this country. Our ancestors had it rough, what with all that freedom and responsibility. Today, we have a benevolent government looking out for our best interests. I mean, who needs parental involvement in schools when teachers are willing to do the parenting for you? Who needs to cower in fear behind that Thin, Blue Line when you can be suffocated by a Thick, Blue Blanket of protection?

Sleep well, America. The state has its best tools working for you! Remember that in November.