Of course, we would expect nothing less from the materially minded American shopper. Year after year we see the images of hundreds of people clawing and biting their way through the doors of shopping malls and department stores. It's the first sign that the season of peace on earth and goodwill toward men has officially begun.
The latest reported incident of Christmas shopping carnage came out of Florida. 41-year-old Patricia VanLester was knocked to the floor and trampled by a throng of frenzied shoppers at an Orange City Wal-Mart as she attempted to procure a $29 DVD player. She was flown to Halifax Medical Center in Daytona Beach where she is expected to spend the rest of this holiday weekend.
I'm no medical expert, but a hospital stay like that could end up costing VanLester hundreds, maybe thousands, of dollars. That's one expensive DVD player.
But there is a happy ending to this otherwise tragic story. Wal-Mart officials apologized for the incident and offered to put a DVD player on hold for her. Forget It's a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street. Wal-Mart has taught us the true meaning of Christmas: shopping online is always your safest bet.